


Mixing Gods and Mortals 1 -- Reasons

by Viola_Laterra



Series: Mixing Gods and Mortals [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: During Canon, F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 08:57:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17546585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viola_Laterra/pseuds/Viola_Laterra
Summary: After Thor returns to Jane and they finally have the opportunity to be together, Jane muses about why he means so much to her, and wonders about why she means so much to him.  Their conversation mostly answers those questions.(Set just after Thor: The Dark World; written 14 July 2014)





	Mixing Gods and Mortals 1 -- Reasons

The first time with him was a blur. As if the intensity wasn't something a mortal mind could retain. Though that aspect of it was mixed up with a lot of good old pent-up emotion and desire and released frustration, too. What Jane did remember clearly was afterwards.

Watching a sleeping god... what a thought. She didn't think of him that way, most of the time. But now... as he lay there, eyes closed, heroic profile turned slightly away... even set against her rather plain white sheets, he was glorious. Breathing slowly, chest rising and falling, with her hand atop it. Her hand. Her small, mortal hand, which looked so pale and fragile at this particular moment. Why? Why would a god choose her? Why did he come back, in the end? She'd been so consumed with wanting to see him again, and then so fixated on dealing with the Convergence and the Aether... and then so relieved that he did come back afterwards, especially after what he'd said about his father... 

But now, in the fading light of the evening, she just felt... small. How could she be important enough to him for him to come back? She looked away from him, towards the ceiling. Maybe this was just bad self-esteem from bad relationship karma, she thought. Wouldn't that be funny, if it had nothing to do with gods or mortals and everything to do with one's damage from a previous relationship, god or no. And Donald, her ex, had been no god - as if there was any comparison. She snorted slightly, and looked back at Thor.

He was watching her. She startled a bit, and started to pull back, away from him, but he caught her hand and held her against him, held her hand at his chest, where she could feel his slow, deep heartbeat. His hands and arms as he held her were very gentle, but still, she could feel the immense strength in them. She dimly remembered him asking repeatedly - though distractedly - if it was too much, as they made love the first time. She just knew it hadn't been, and every time the answer had been "don't stop."

"What troubles you?" he asked softly, breaking into the deliciously muddled memory of the afternoon's pursuits. Even his voice thrilled her, and in a flash of disorganized thought, she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind: "Why do you come fight on Earth?" He raised an eyebrow. Backpedaling, "Well, I mean, I get that you fight on all the different planets --- or, realms, I guess, but... uh, why are you, or, you know, the Asgardians, why are you the universe's peacekeepers?" There you go, that was a legitimate question. There was the theoretician's skill, thinking quickly, filling in meaning where there wasn't quite enough. Her real question, born out of her insecurity, which was, 'why me?' was buried somewhere at the root of it.

He chuckled, shifting her more closely against him. She tried not to let her mind (or hands) wander too far as he responded. Just the same... it wasn't every day you got to entwine yourself with a god. Or with the man you loved. Let alone both. So she contented herself with idly tracing half-formed relativistic equations on his chest as he talked.

"I am not sure why this should trouble you. But it is a fair question. My father would probably immediately say that it is our responsibility, with our advanced technology, to defend the powerless against the powerful evils in the Universe."

"Like the Dark Elves," she ventured.

He smiled. "Yes, certainly, but they are not the only ones. And not just the frost giants, either... there are many throughout the universe who would use power to prey on others. So for many generations my people have taken it upon ourselves to shine light into those dark places and make the Nine Realms safe for everyone."

She nodded. He leaned close and kissed her forehead. Lost in the sensation, she almost missed the first few words as he continued: "And that was why I was gone for so long. The Bifrost was our main means of moving throughout the Universe to keep it safe. When I had to destroy it to prevent Loki's genocidal act against the Jotuns, that allowed many groups to begin to move in their old, evil ways while we were unable to reach the other Realms. So when we were able to repair it, I had a lot of work to do to clean up the mess." He fell silent, stroking her arm a little absently, apparently lost in thought.

She watched him for a moment. Then the inquisitive part of her brain popped up. "But you said that's what your father would say. Is your answer different?"

He looked back at her, suddenly very serious, and his look had an intensity that took her breath away: "No." He held her gaze for a moment, then looked down. "Well, the substance is the same. But the motivation... I don't know how my father learned the lesson that it is better to use force sparingly, to avoid war. Or perhaps I do, perhaps it was the battle with Laufey, the king of the Jotuns, that did it." He paused, apparently musing. She wasn't entirely sure where this was going, but waited.

At length, he sighed. "Before, I did defend the powerless, but a great deal of it was for the thrill of battle. There was skill in winning, pride in my abilities and my companions' abilities. It was a challenge, a puzzle to solve, to pit ourselves against overwhelming odds and win." He paused. "We could assert our superiority of arms. That is a powerful feeling. And knowing we were the force of order and justice in the Universe gave us moral superiority as well." As he described it, a little of that lust for battle crept into his voice, and he started to fall a little more into the 'god' category. But before that could sink in too much, he sighed, and shifted onto his side, resting his head on his hand, looking at her. She felt self conscious.

"But I learned that lesson when I was cast out. I truly, truly believed that the Jotuns had crossed a line by attacking us... I did not know at the time that Loki had let them in," his face darkened slightly at the mention of his brother's betrayal, though that was definitely the least of Loki's sins at this point. "But I thought truly that the only way to keep us safe was to go straight to them and take them on and put them in their place. And I wanted to try. I wanted to show them they couldn't hope to defeat us. I thought it cowardice not to answer their challenge." He reached out with his free hand and smoothed a stray lock of her hair back. "After that battle, when he had brought us back to Asgard, Father said to me that I had brought the horror of war upon us. I didn't understand what he meant, then, because I thought I was being... how do you put it... 'proactive' with the Jotuns." He smiled at her. She laughed a little.

"But after staying here, after coming to know Darcy, and Erik, and you.." The look in his eyes was indescribable, and her stomach flip-flopped as he raised her fingers to his lips and kissed them briefly but tenderly, "after coming to know you, and then facing the possibility that the Destroyer might hurt you and your people and Earth... well, suddenly it became clear to me what he meant about bringing the horror of war to those that you love."

The rush of emotion she felt was overwhelming. He was watching her, though, maybe waiting for a response. All she managed was a weak, "oh."

He laughed, and pulled her close. "Don't think I didn't care for others before; I did, and still do care very much for my family, my friends, and my people. But..." he leaned in close, and kissed her slowly, lingeringly, before pulling away slightly, continuing, "but now I know what it is like to face losing you." Her breath caught in her throat. "I still agree with my father that we should protect the powerless, but I have a more... personal reason for making the Nine Realms a safer place to be." The only thing she could think to do in response was close the distance and kiss him passionately. He responded in kind.

After a few moments, they broke apart, breathing heavily. Jane looked up at him, watching a tumult of emotions shift across his face, and found that he'd partly answered her real question without knowing it. Still, she guessed, there was more to it... why coming to know her had been so meaningful to him, perhaps because he was vulnerable then, mortal, doubtful of his own worth... and somehow she'd been important in finding his confidence again. Well, he had restored her confidence in herself, on some level, too. And her confidence in the Universe having a worthwhile and understandable social order as well as a physical one. And her faith in men in general. A tall order, even for a god, she thought. But then, he was a tall god.

Still, some kind of verbal response seemed necessary. She whispered, "thank you," and then he kissed her again. She wasn't sure if she was thanking him for loving her, for coming back, for protecting the Universe... probably all of them. But it seemed like the right thing to say.

"You are quite welcome," he murmured back, before words became progressively unimportant. Best just to say that she remembered the second time a bit better than the first.


End file.
